“The smell of curry throughout the building is not the most appealing aroma” – Bee-woman
Many South Asians may have heard or would have felt was being uttered in hushed up tones in front of them or in large cacophonic noises behind them, by the Westerns.
Like many small motel owners in Canada and USA who earn minimum wages or less and cannot afford big houses, we too live in small dungeons provided next to the motel office to enable us to respond to guests’ calls with the ring of the bell and to serve our esteemed Gods, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. The same Gods who do not recognize our education and experience so that we become the slave disciples that they want, to take care of small establishments that became unviable for them to manage.
The above mentioned kind words, coming from a lady belonging to a semi-rural part of Ontario, Canada, written as part of the customer reviews on my motel’s web page are perfectly understandable. As much as she dislikes the smell of curry, even I cannot bear the smell of many Western dishes especially the ones dealing with meat, fish, crabs and the like. When people like her use our BBQ facilities to cook their meals on our property, I try and shy away from the area, lest that smell gets on my nerves. There exists perhaps, a mutual agreement in dislike for the smell of each other’s dishes. Unfortunately this agreement ends here.
On reading this comment on the customer review board turned graffiti board provided by Booking.com/ Priceline.com, I got enlightened and became a Canadian Buddha.
Firstly I cursed my bad luck that even though in real life I met a Bee-woman, a lady with the finest nostrils in the world that only these lovely insects possess, yet I could not recognize her or her immense powers. And what powers? Mind Blowing ! While sitting in her room, 12 solid walls away from the main office, she could smell the curry not just in her room but in her words, in the entire property spread over two acres of land and in all forty rooms that it possessed ! All spread by my family’ tiny kitchen right at one corner of the building !
Even Spiderman and Batman would be happy to get her company and I have decided to request Hollywood/ Bollywood to get a script ready for her.
Just imagine in the next movie, this Beewoman would smell the deadly terrorists look alike, you know people like me with those dirty brown faces and piercing eyes or long beards, from a distance and send signals to her tribe to stay away. LIke she did in our case !
Or in real life, If an Indian, actually Paki as they call us, or any curry eater, is even suspected of trying a Boston like bombing, the entire city would need not be brought to a halt and our Beewoman would find the alien with his stink !
Secondly I also was made aware of the skill that my family possesses. Whatever we eat, be it bread, pizzas, burgers, all starts smelling like curry once it is brought to our place. We are a true symbol of Eastern supremacy, as we have the powers of converting every Western food that we eat into curry and give it a special aroma disliked by Beewoman and her tribe.
Lastly I also found out that we “Pakis”, are humans, sorry animals who have the power to carry the smell of our food along with us where ever we go. Since if the smell from our kitchen located far away could not travel through concrete walls all over the building, then it was physically carried by our bodies which traversed the length and breadth of the property.
It is unbelievable that the British came to the Indian subcontinent and lived there for three hundred years, never planning to leave till they were literally forced to leave our land, in spite of such odors !
It is further astonishing to see how the curry eaters have spread all over the world and are accepted and respected for their work ethics, despite the curry smell they carry !
Bee woman and her small diminishing tribe, beware! Not to be..e.., is no more how you could envisage the curry people in the world !
Hopefully one day you will realize that the world likes the Bee not for the sting it carries but for the honey it possesses, gained painstakingly from the flowers touched in the journey of life !
Published in Times of India on 15th July 2013. Link below-