Purvi Patel-The ‘Guilty’ Sufferer



There is no doubt what so ever in my mind that God is masculine.

Only a ‘Man’ God could bring a creature in the world who has to face woes at all times in her life, hence well and truly called- ‘Wo-man’

Woman, come to this world as second rated humans, mostly unwanted in many countries and regions, but for their sexual, reproductive and home making benefits and are looked down upon by the very men they give birth to. They live a life under immense social scanner, being commented and judged for their actions with a distorted lens tilted more towards ensuring continuance of male domination.

Women tirelessly and silently follow social and religious norms, which for centuries have been laid down by male chauvinists acting as saints, scholars, religious and social leaders, builders of a law abiding state- all masks hiding their actual face of being perverts using any and all tools to ensure that women are kept under tight leash and control, all their lives.

Today I am angry. Really angry. And also ashamed to hide my soul behind a male body. I should have had this outrage for decades and centuries but sometimes, a final drop makes your cup runneth over! Two North American ladies of Indian origin and the ridicule and pain that they are facing is the prime cause.

They are not one amongst the vast majority of silent, fearful, God fearing- more aptly put as male dominating world, women who live on this planet, especially in the third world countries. And yet, they have been found to be equally vulnerable- one actually thrust to live in a prison while the other not being freed from an imaginary prison created by the masters of this world.

I will write about the first one in this article.

Purvi Patel, a young 31 year old lady, resident of Indiana, USA was a child any parent would dream of. For eight years, which means from the age of 23 when lesser mortals would be busy in fun ‘n’ frolic, she ran her family’ business Moe’s Southwest Grill, worked for seven days a week, round the year, then came back home, took care of cooking at home and also managed her elderly grandparents who were in their nineties.

Eight long years, she did it nonstop as the main support base of her aging parents. She could not think of marriage, that too from outside the conservative Hindu circle of her family. And then in 2013, sh*# happened!

To put it simply, while in her unmarried lonely state, she had sex with a non Hindu, non Asian, co-worker, which resulted in an unwanted pregnancy. With her family’ conservative background, she was frightened and scared of not just the society but even her own parents and the intense rebuke that she would face for that. Like a scared animal, who runs right into the middle of the road, sees bright shining lights in front, is dazed and looses all sense of direction, she was completely lost and dumbfounded and did not know what to do! She knew that she would not get any support from her family, nor the man who was the cause of her situation, nor could she run the risk of going to medical clinic lest her family’ name be disgraced in the society. She turned to private help, spoke to one of her friends and then used internet to try and find ways to carry out abortion. Ultimately in approximately 20th week of her pregnancy, through an act of God or her own attempt to abort the fetus, that only she can tell, her fetus was aborted in her bathroom and then scared as hell, she wrapped it in a bag and put it away in a dumpster near her restaurant. Unfortunately the bleeding was not stopping and she went for medical help to a hospital. What she got in return was an accusation and a further trial, dominated more by the desire to deliver an agenda of the Conservative society, which changed her life!

Purvi Patel was charged in 2013 for ‘feticide’ and ‘child neglect’, was convicted and is now serving a twenty years prison term. Laws against feticide, sometimes known in USA as “fetal harm laws” were drafted to prevent violence against pregnant women by a third party assailant, be it a significant other, a spouse, a family member or a stranger. Alas, here the same law was used against the woman herself, the very person the law was supposed to protect.

Furthermore, she was accused of both ‘feticide’ and ‘child neglect’, two entirely contradictory situations at the same time, to ensure that she would be convicted of one crime or the other, come what may! She became only the second woman in USA, charged for killing her fetus and the first one to be convicted. In a previous case, a woman of Chinese origin was charged of feticide as she attempted suicide when she was pregnant and in the act, she survived but her fetus was aborted. However she too was later freed on plea deal whereas in case of Purvi, she was not so lucky and has to face the wrath of society and the law.

Now close your eyes, for a moment, put yourself in Purvi’s body and feel what she has gone through and is going through.

A girl who dedicated her life to her family, stood by them in thick and thin and yet feared them and their reaction due to conservative Hindu thoughts they prescribed to, to hide one of her biggest secret. If she would have informed them, she would have faced ridicule, pain and hurt from her own family, perhaps even being made an outcast, since women are supposed to follow social norms.

And I am more aghast at what an ‘open’ society did to her! To be accused, nay be pronounced guilty of committing a crime of aborting her own fetus and to be put behind bars for twenty long years due to the same!

A woman has sex and she faces the brunt of the act. The man walks away and continues to enjoy his life! A woman faces the consequences. She may even have to bear the child even though it could be unwanted, an accident that just happened, because of the physical act. So now she is ‘responsible’ for the ‘life’ inside.

If she does not want it and informs the society to get rid of it, she suffers stigma and abuse.

If she still does not want it and tries to act on her own, she faces further hell and abuse.

Because a male dominated society has the right to ignore and rule over a woman’s decision over her own body, because if a woman is allowed to act on her own, it will give ‘her’ more right over ‘him’ to decide what to do in the reproduction process! Baby I gave you my sperm and that entitles me and my social friends to decide what you can and cannot do with it! And if you act against my wish, you suffer.


That fetus or rather the body part inside, was her creation and she should have the first right to decide what she wants to do with it. Especially when it is completely unwanted and even the sperm giver has walked away! No society or law should have the right to interfere. Period.

And yet if you want to throw people in prison then I can tell you of a whole lot who should be there instead of Purvi!

You should accuse and throw that person in prison who was the cause of this pregnancy and who did not support Purvi through this period of intense mental and physical torture that she underwent, moved on and continues to enjoy his life.

You should accuse and throw her parents in prison who had developed such believes in Purvi’s mind that she could not seek help and go to them or other agencies at such times and was forced to act the way she did.

You should throw all the guardians of the society in the prison who have made such social norms and taboos where women should face rebuke for having babies without marriage, or for not marrying in their community or religion, or for being declared ‘dirty’ and ‘unmarriageable’ if not found virgin.

You should throw those law makers and law keepers in prison who not just wrote such foolish laws but have used all possible ways and means, including the most unreliable ‘lung test’ to ensure that Purvi is declared guilty of trying to save her life and in her mind, the dignity of her family. That too, twenty long years!

God have mercy! And please for a moment, may God, feel for Purvi!

I have no words to describe the intense pain and negativity she has gone through and must be going through in every moment of her prison cell.

Fortunately there are many who support her in North America today including a law professor who is fighting for her Pro bono and who has submitted an appeal against the judgement in the courts. Unfortunately the state has decided to fight the appeal and have submitted their response and the matter will now come up for hearing in the coming future, probably in May 2016.

What can we do? If you really feel that injustice has been done to her, please support and speak out for her. Please use all avenues possible to support her cause and to ensure that we could redeem ourselves, if not in her eyes, then at least in ours.

You could comment and provide moral support on facebook – https://www.facebook.com/justiceforpurvipatel/

and also comment and subscribe on twitter- hastags-
#purvipatel and #justice4purvi.

And yes, you can change yourself, your families, your children, friends, colleagues and start supporting women and stop demeaning them for acts where they have to face every consequence while men walk free.

Purvi we love you, support you as our own sister and daughter and will always be there for you!

And yes, Purvi, we are sorry. Please forgive us for our sin, for calling you a sinner, if you can!

Published in Times of India on 31st January 2016. Link below-



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