‘I know my end has come and I am going’, I said slowly taking my own sweet time to draw out every word. After all I had loved playing side characters in various short films that I had done in the past and this time I was in the lead. That too in real life! Upon hearing of my surgery the next day, my daughter had come from USA to be with us. Besides being teary eyed upon seeing her after a long time, I also had to get back the family’ attention and dug deep into my acting skills to create a typical Bollywood end scene.
‘Papa…..’, my daughter was going to roll out the first tear when my wife intervened, ‘Ignore his words. He cannot even bear light fever, becomes weak and starts uttering gibberish. The Doctor says that this is just a minor procedure’. She knew my moods and did not want me to get into that lousy one again especially after learning that I had a one in three chance of not going back home. She was physically and emotionally tired and had no energies left to go through any more of my drama.
‘No, I am serious. I know it and was waiting for you to come before I convey my final requests. I have a feeling that I am not coming out of that room tomorrow. Please…’, I did not want to let go this moment and exerted pressure with my feeble fingers on my daughter’s hand and gave a meek look to my son and wife. After all, before one starts a monologue, one must have captive gaze of one’s audience. It always bewildered me why that room was called the Operation theater when the real theatrics occurred outside in the aisle or in nearby rooms.
‘Papa please don’t do this. Not right now’. Now I had my son’s ears too and there was no further time to lose as all three were eating out of my hands.
‘No please let me speak. As you know I have already made my legal will where everything is clearly documented for how the little estate that I carry will get transferred to you. I have also given away this body and so there will are no worries for final rites. Hopefully they will use my body organs for helping others and use the rest body parts for some research’. My daughter had a little tear in her eye and so I touched her hand again.
‘Please, there will be no tears when I go but only celebration of our mutual love. Absolutely no condolence meeting nor any religious ceremony. I do not want any old, outdated religious scriptures or their carriers to bore people to early death. Let there be an after party with lots of songs and bonhomie. Perhaps a few of the songs that I have written especially my favorite ‘Madhu-tat’ over glasses of Johnny Walker or beer, whatever people prefer even if she objects’. I winked at my daughter while looking at my wife. My children smiled and my wife gave me her trademark stare and wanted to speak but I cut her short and continued.
‘My job is done in this world and I have nothing more to contribute to this world and hence I am happy and content if I leave. But you two have just started your lives and have so much to do. Remember this world is a collection of living cells with well defined reasons to exist except perhaps humans. We have to find or create our own reasons for existence and then work to fulfill them in our life time.
We are all connected and while we have created the concept of God to justify our existence, science will one day remove that need too. We all are God or God particles ourselves. If you really wish to hold on to a belief system then believe in yourself and your own infinite capabilities. Believe in the power of reason and logic. If you feel weak or short of ideas, tap inside and go deep. There is a reservoir in all of us and insert the right wick of positivity to draw the last bit of oil from your lamp.
Do not get drawn in religious or political boundaries created by power mongers as those are just tools to command you. Be your own island. Let your spirit and its spirituality be your true religion’. I had nothing much to leave but these words and while they had become their own fountainhead, I still had a few drops left to satiate their thirst.
‘Last but not the least, do not take yourself too seriously. Enjoy. Love. Have fun and care for each other and create friendships and…’, I looked curiously as my son was reading something on my phone.
‘Hey Dad, you have got the call back for that Indian film that they were going to shoot here. Can you postpone your departure for a few days?’ My son smiled wickedly.
‘Tell that bloody Doctor to operate fast and get me back in shape within a week. I have no time to waste’, I declared with a steely resolve and a smile on face. After all there was nothing more important in life than having a chance to act in a Bollywood movie. And when you can aim for that, even the dead can walk again.
My daughter smiled. My son winked. My wife sighed with relief and grimaced at the thought of who that movie was about!
I was already on seventh heaven dreaming of the days ahead and my selfie with the sex Goddess of our times …
Posted in Times of India on 26th October 2017. Link below-